{{ NUMOL BITES }}

{ Male privilege and trans women }

eateroftrees:

literallyaimee:

I’ve been wanting to write this post all fucking day.

It’s no secret; a large majority of trans women grew up and were socialized as males.  The segment of the trans population I am talking about are girls who transition between the ages of 16-30. 

We grew up as boys.  We learn as boys do, so to speak.  We benefitted from male privilege.  It doesn’t define us, but it does change the way we think.  Here’s an exercise for you: Look for all the ways you think, the ways you do things. Think about how they were influenced by growing up assigned male.

-I don’t have issues with sexual promiscuity; while it does sting to be called a slut, I am able to overlook the mixed messages society sends me about my sexual habits*

-My body issues stem mostly from not matching cis baseline; however, societal images of the ‘ideal woman’ also affect me.

-I had an easier time in school due to teachers wanting to focus energy on my gifts - time i believe would not have been spent on me were I FAAB.

-I am not afraid to have ‘masculine’ interests, like camping and video games.  I don’t worry about being seen as ‘less feminine’ because I like these things, and as a child, I was encouraged to be interested in these things.

-I am more proud of being queer and less likely to hide it.  I’m not sure if it’s exactly from the male privilege end, as I was afraid to express any queerness while I still presented male.

There are probably an asston more examples, but these are what I could think of off the top of my head.  I mean, you know, this obviously doesn’t mean trans women are supremely privileged, either.  We don’t get cis privilege. Trans women definitely have benefitted from male privilege, but that doesn’t mean we don’t suffer from our own share of oppression.  Just take the time out of your day to realize how you benefitted from privilege.  It helps everyone.

I’m a bit curious how you read these as privilege.  I mean, I suppose maybe you’re probably getting lucky and not having issues with these, but like, for me, while some of these are true, they’re not a symptom of male privilege, they’re the things that didn’t get fucked over by internalized cissexism and heterosexism.

And they most certainly are not free from angst.  Because like, I am well aware that these things are associated with being male and oh, look, doing things that are associated with being male sets off the dysphoria. Woooo~

Like, I’ll give you the “socialized as males” thing (well except for the part where you used “male” as a noun, that’s creepy and dehumanizing) because that sort of seems to apply in my case.  A bit.

BUT THAT’S THE WHOLE PROBLEM! Being socialized as male didn’t mean I got a bunch of aspects of male privilege, it only meant I got—as Kinsey explained when she reblogged this—passing as male privilege.

Like, I may not have issues with promiscuity because of slut shaming (and THAT’S A BLATANT LIE BUT WHATEVER) but I have enormous issues any time I get near a sexual situation because OH MY GOD I’M BEING MALE GET THIS SHIT OFF ME EWEWEWEWEWEWEW.

And I totally pick up ridiculous amounts of mixed messages because like, I’m simultaneously only comfortable having sex with men (because that’s what women are supposed to do) and not comfortable at all with any level sexual or emotional contact with men (Because men aren’t supposed to do that because that’s gay which is bad.  Also because it’s mostly been men who have harassed me over my gender and that’s been going on since preschool—SO YEAH NOT MALE PRIVILEGE.)

Body issues: Yeah those I definitely have.  Becaues you know, there’s no way I could possibly be attractive because my body isn’t an ideal and that makes me completely worthless.  OH LOOK THAT’S NOT A NARRATIVE THAT GETS DIRECTED AT MEN.

Oh yeah and I don’t feel comfortable cutting my hair (which is practically to my waist now) because then I wouldn’t look as feminine and that would make me feel REALLY GROSS and also EVERYONE WOULD CONSTANTLY MISGENDER ME.

Honestly I’d probably feel waaaay less pressure to conform to gender ideals if I were cis and didn’t feel like I constantly have to reinforce my gender to get people to recognize it.  That’s not male privilege.

Plus it isn’t like being raised as male didn’t instill in me an enormous phobia of doing anything perceived as girly or feminine.  Like I get panic attacks about wearing skirts sometimes still and I have been doing it for years now.  And abotu having any interest that’s at all girly.  And I get massive bouts of self loathing about playing video games.

Oh yeah and writing these enormous highly verbose rants about my gender ALSO MAKES ME GO INTO BOUTS OF GENDER ANGST SELF LOATHING SHIT because being vocal and assertive about things, that’s pretty much a male associated thing.

SO: That’s not male privilege; that’s MAAB trans… um… nonprivilege.

Male privilege is when society tells you how attractive you are isn’t really that important.  What I got was society telling me that it’s impossible to be attractive because I’m MAAB, and my still thinking it’s one of the most important things ever.

(I’m not going to touch on the school thing, but that’s because my school was so ridiculously inadequate at meeting my needs because I my intellectual development was waaaaaaaaay out of sync with my peers.  Or “gifted” or “smart” but I don’t trust those terms AT ALL because there’s some ableist—and probably classist and racist—shit all mixed up in them.  Also I had undiagnosed ADD.)

(Also for the queer thing: I was profoundly uncomfortable with the fact that I am occasionally attracted to men—and for that matter, MAAB nonbinaries and women because at that point my internalized cissexism was ridiculously strong and completely unanalyzed—until I identified as female, and realized that hey wait a minute liking men doesn’t make me gay…  Plus I still freak out sometimes if I’m too girly because it’s “gay.” So yeah any comfort I have with a trans lesbian (mostly) identity is pretty much not a product of being MAAB.)

Also: I will admit that being mostly apathetic to the world and my gender when I was growing up may have protected me a bit from certain harmful cultural narratives that tend to hit women.  But that’s not male privilege.  Especially not any more.

(via thenameoftheworms)

{ In Memory of David Kato }

yourhue:

“Across the entire country, straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex Ugandans mourn the loss of David, a dear friend, colleague, teacher, family member and human rights defender,” said Frank Mugisha, the chairman of Sexual Minorities Uganda.

(Source: The Huffington Post, via lucypaw)

{ There are many discussions going on (on tumblr) about the word ‘homophobia’ being offensive. }

feministilicious:

projectqueer:

Can anyone rightfully justify this for me?

Now, I know that there are other terms that one can use to describe ignorance/hatred towards the homosexual community, like ‘heterosexism’ - for example. But how does one justify the word ‘homophobia’ as ableist? I do not get it.

The simple fact is: There are people in the world who fear the gay community. They are taught this fear, and then this fear is a constant reminder in our society’s culture. This fear is portrayed EVERY SINGLE DAY via advertising, television, news, religious influence, protests, anti-gay legislation, etc.

This country was founded upon fear mongering (among other things). The religious right (i.e. the Westboro Baptist Church, National Organization for Marriage, Family Research Council, etc.) use fear tactics in ALL of their anti-gay PACs, press releases, AND teachings.

Ultimately, I just do not get how using the word ‘homophobia’ is deemed offensive. I would like to learn why, so I can justify changing my word usage. Please help.

What do YOU think?

Sofia Loren Zombi

PROJECT QUEER

Alrighty, Sofia Loren Zombi. Strike two. Let’s get this show on the road.

A phobia is an irrational fear of something. No one has an irrational fear of gay people. There may be intolerance, but that is not an irrational fear.

Let’s put things into perspective. I have trypophobia, so I feel physically ill, as in shaking, feeling extremely itchy, hyperventilating, and getting panic attacks, when I see clusters of tiny holes. Do gay people illicit this same extreme reaction from heterosexist people? No. 

The simple fact is: “Homophobia” is not an accurate term to describe people who are prejudiced against queer people. It is appropriative (taking something from an oppressed group and erasing the meaning) of people with actual phobias. The term ”heterosexist” is more accurate because while homophobia is supposedly the fear of gay people, heterosexist is more inclusive of the different types of queer (homo=gay, so homophobia=fear of homosexuals) and is more accurate at what the word is trying to convey: the prejudice that hetero people are better than people who aren’t hetero.

Now does it make sense why the term homophobia is ableist and appropriative?

(via genderbitch)

{ Anti-Gay, Chick-Fil-A }

conduitobscura:

so i found out Chick-Fil-A financially supports the “protection of marriage” by collaborating with The National Organization for Marriage’s Ruth Institute which opposes gay marriage.

…guess i won’t have any of their fries anymore

yep.

there’s a change.org petition/story about this (dunno if that’s where you heard it).